- Imaginary Lines: It Smells Bad at the University...

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

It Smells Bad at the University...

The smell hit me the moment we walked in the door today. "Yuck," I said to Thomas. I know most of the people we pass as I push Thomas in his umbrellas stroller do not have children, so they must think my talking to him is a little like talking to a stuffed animal, or some other inanimate object. They do not know that Thomas can, in fact, understand almost everything I say to him. I'm sure he understands when I say, "it's stinky in here." And it does stink at the University.

I might not have ever noticed just how bad the stink is if it weren't for Thomas. When you're pregnant, your sense of smell is something like that of a bloodhound. I never knew before just how many really bad smells were out there before I was pregnant. The campus center at the U (which also houses the food court, cafeteria, book store, and financial aid), is the epicenter of stinkiness. It must be something they put in the institutional cafeteria food....

I am trying to go back to school in January. I was excited with this idea and all of the possibilities this morning, but now I feel apprehensive and sad. God, I am so friggin' moody. No wonder I can't get anything accomplised.

I want to go back to school, because I have to have my master's degree in Library Science and my teaching certification before Thomas starts kindegarten in less than 4 years. Not a bad deal, right? But what if I get pregnant again in the middle of the semester? Worse yet, what if I don't???

There are financial considerations to the chosen timing of our second child. My husband and I agree that I should stay home at least until our children are in school. We wanted them to be close in age so that it wouldn't be 10 years before I can start working again. What if it takes years for me to get pregnant again?? Won't we have to give up eventually, for financial reasons??

So, I'm ambivalent. But steadfast. I think. Maybe not. I need a stiff drink and a prenatal vitamin...

Luckily for me, I have the most wonderful husband in the world. I know he wants another baby too, and we will find a way to make it happen. It looks like I'm going to have to become a slave-driver when it comes to the sex...if I can stay awake long enough....

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