There's been a lot of talk.
I just can't keep up. My head is spinning. Every where I look, someone is offended. There are pregnant women who are offended by women who are trying to conceive, because said ttc women don't want to gush over the pregnant women's symptoms. In fact, the ttc women find it quite hurtful at times to be exposed to said pregnant women gushing about their symptoms and sonograms. I can understand, I've been there, albeit my stay "there" wasn't long enough, I guess, for anyone to give me credit. I've shed buckets of tears over the baby I lost, and the fear that I wouldn't be able to conceive again, but so many people have had so many more tears....
Then there are the women who were ttc for a long time, got pregnant, and want to stay hanging around on boards designed for people who are still going through the pain of trying to conceive, you know, showing off their awesome beta numbers, their beautiful sonograms, the massive amounts of weight they're gaining (oh wait, that's me), etc. They are offended because these women who are trying to conceive can only take the good news up to a certain point. Then it just becomes painful. What is so damn difficult to understand about that?
Then there are pregnant women who are feeling unsure of their pregnancies, who are deeply afraid of loving and losing again, who are offended by other pregnant women who are feeling pretty good about their pregnancies. This, I can also understand.
Here's what I don't get--how the hell am I supposed to know who is prone to being offended by what? What blogs am I allowed to post a comment on?
Up until now, I have commented on a blog if I found the post was something I could relate to, or found it funny, or just liked the blogger's style. Now I'm not sure...if I'm welcome at other people's blogs...I'm not trying to be offensive...but how do I know if I'm causing undue psychological stress through the POWER of my comment?
I never leave nasty comments--ever. I've got better things to do. If I find a blog to be offensive, or I just plain HATE the author and everything he/she says, I just don't read it. Or I read it, knowing that I'm just looking to get pissed off, and leave it at that.
So if I'm only doing my best to leave cordial, constructive, supportive comments--how can I ever know if I'm being destructive and awful, and at worst, O-FFENSIVE?
Well, this is the way I see it. You can't know. And if someone allows the public to comment on their blog, they're always going to be subject to hearing nasty things, or nice things, that they don't want to hear. No one can live in a bubble. It's just a shame that the few psychos out there have to cause so much hurt to people who don't deserve to be treated with such disregard. I'm sorry that my friend, Jamie, has recently been the victim of one of these psychos.
So I'm just going to go on my merry, sometimes puking, way, commenting on blogs that I like or that I find interesting. I mean, if that's okay.
posted by ErinMary @ 1:28 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
Erin,
I have OFTEN found myself feeling the same way about the message boards...and blogs. When there was only one board, I felt bad posting a question that had to do with the kids I already had, because I didn't want to offend the people who hadn't had children yet. So, I just kept it to myself. Now that I blog, I figure, hey, it's my blog so damnit, my kids will be on there if I want them to be. Also, if I get a blog address directly from a person (like their message board signature) then I will post a comment, but if I find a blog through a link on a another blog, I won't comment. But, you are always welcome on my blog AND I am very hard to offend. Not a whole lot gets to me, except these people saying nasty things on the message boards. Anyway, I am so happy for you, and that you are feeling better. Take care!
Jess
:-) Good afternoon. :-)
Here are my thoughts . . .
I felt like I recently "needed" something to help me cope with all of the miscarriage/TTC emotions and there are m/c blogs, TTC blogs, and pregnancy blogs that have SO helped me deal. Whether I let them create a sense of understanding, hope, or happiness, they fufill a purpose.
All of a sudden, everyone is freaking out about what is the pc thing to say or what is the thing to say that WON'T offend . . . which basically makes the *coping* a whole lot harder for people like me.
I think that everyone is entitled to be pissed and heartbroken and over-run with grief for loss and everyone is entitled to cheer and scream and jump up and down for a BFP. The point at which it offends is when someone does not make the choice NOT to read.
It is the READER'S choice. If they take offense, that is THEIR DEAL. Not yours. Not anyone elses, for that matter.
Write about your life, your experiences, etc. It will please many. And for the people that want "happy pregnancy" warnings before they read a post, I say lighten up.
If you don't like it, don't read it. Be happy for those that are happy, too.
I will get off my soapbox now. Sorry . .
don't worry matey! enjoy your bub growing and relax everything else is their bag!
I, for one, am happy to read about your pregnancy. I read what i like too. BTW - thanks for all the magazine subscriptions you've sent my way, now if you could just send me a visa card or two. ;-)
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