Floundering
I would like to send out a thanks to Tom Waits, for reminding me that loneliness can be a beautiful part of the human condition, especially when it inspires people like him.
I would also like to thank Mr. Waits for inspiring me. I have now decided that when my children are grown, I will spend half the day half in the bag, just for the hell of it. Why not?
I wish I were eloquent enough to explain the way good, really good, music can reach out to you like a best friend, when a best friend is no where to be found. It can help remind you that somewhere in there, beneath the unstable, barely-hanging-on wife and mother facade, there is a person, a soul, that stands alone struggling for its existence beyond the many other hats it has to wear. Maybe I should have waited to find my own soul and my own peace before becoming a mom and a wife. The trouble is, that day may never come, or at least not while I’m still in my fertile years.
In the midst of mothering I will try to remember to mother myself a little bit more...someone has got to do it, after all. I just wish there were someone who could tell me how to do this grown-up gig. I think I’m really just floundering here.
posted by ErinMary @ 12:34 PM
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