Moving Forward.
I've been thinking about today's doctor appointment all week. When I think about how it will go it usually includes this moment, with the goo and the doppler on my belly, and the great big dreaded nothing.
Well, I got to realize that for a few moments today. She was not finding the heartbeat. So, she decided that the doppler was in need of new batteries, and proceeded to find another doppler, one with fresh batteries.
She pushed my flab aside and started swirling that thing around in the icky goo--and nothing. Hello??? Anyone in there??? I just got to lay there on the table thinking to myself, "Do not start sobbing, do not start sobbing. If she can't find it, will I start sobbing?" And then, of course, it was there. She found my little woosh woosh woosh. And then she only let me listen for like, a second. But it was there. IT was okay. Baby was playing hard to get, probably because it doesn't like having that damn thing smooshed into its little sac.
I actually thought that I had felt the baby moving right before the doctor came into the room, but it's so early that it's still hard to tell the little baby squirms from the I just ate lunch squirms.
I didn't actually start bawling until I got in the car. And then I couldn't keep up with it because I had to pick up my son at my mil's office.
Everything is okay. Today I am blessed to be one of the lucky ones. I can keep moving forward.
Thank God.
posted by ErinMary @ 3:44 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Stop eating squirms for lunch!
and congratulations, I imagine the old heart in the throat didn't taste very good.
Okay . . . . you scared me there. I was reading as fast as I could to get to the good news, the woosh woosh kind of good news. :-)
Glad things are going well! :-)
So very good to hear...
I'm sure it will all be fine and you will have a beautiful baby before you know it. Have a great day.
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