Why Does it Piss Me Off?
Why does it piss me off when my MIL takes my son for the afternoon, tells me she’s going to give the exhausted child a nap, and then takes him to visit with her friend instead?
Why does it piss me off that she has given the title of Aunt So-and-so to said friend, without asking us? Call me crazy, but the only people I want my son calling aunt and uncle, are his aunts and uncles.
Why does it piss me off that she makes plans for my house, and asks people that she knows to do work on our house, without consulting us first? And then we end up trying to chase said people down to finish the work that they started? Is it supposed to make me feel better when she tells us that it took him 3 years to finish putting in her dining room window?
Why does it piss me off that she asks people that she knows to do favors for us, inviting people into our business who I do not know, without consulting us first?
Why does it piss me off that she doesn’t defer to me when it comes to my son?
Why does it piss me off that my MIL is so far up my ass that it feels like there’s 3 people in my marriage? Why does everything she does to *help* us feel more like the manipulation of a person who’s afraid we aren’t going to need her anymore? Why does it piss me off that my husband refuses to see this?
Why can’t I just look at everything she does for us, which is above and beyond the call of duty for any mother of a 36 year old man and his family, as just wonderful and generous?
Why do I feel a deep instinctual need to chase her off of my territory like some kind of a howling bitch wolf? Is there something wrong with me, or her? Or is it both?
Does anyone out there know how to set boundaries without alienating someone? ‘Cause the only way I know of how to set boundaries is to tell a person to eff off. It doesn’t seem appropriate when it’s your son’s grandmother, your husband’s mother, etc. I’m trying to be mature about it.
Oh, and moving several hours away is not currently an option. I’ve already thought about that.
posted by ErinMary @ 2:39 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Erin...I am totally feelin you on this one. I have a MIL that is EXACTLY the same. You can't tell people like that to eff off. My MIL is the boldest person I know. She once told me that my 4 year old son started wetting the bed all of a sudden, because I am too hard on him. Her definition of "hard on him" is me not letting him jump from couch to couch at her house while screaming at the same time...
They are impossible to reason with, that is why you can't tell them off. They have the answer, the RIGHT answer and you are the one with the problem if you don't see it. Unfortunately our husbands come from that family, so they are used to being walked all over. I have two SIL's that are the same as my MIL.
Needless to say, the words "move" and "to Texas" have been in our vocab for a very long time!! You have my ear when you need to vent!
Jess
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